cf. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
“Are you the Joel or the Clementine in the relationship?”
After always being the Clementine for years and years, I wanted to experience what it was like to be the Joel for once. To have someone else sweep you away.
Turns out I hate being the Joel all the time. Not being able to trust your partner feels awful.
Ideally, we find partners who can be both the Joel and the Clementine, the stability and the spontaneity.